


Blood on Black | chensung ft NCT

by sandrashaine



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Brutal, Horror, M/M, Murder, Suicide, Thriller, chensung - Freeform, soul
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25931254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandrashaine/pseuds/sandrashaine
Summary: "Cʜᴇɴʟᴇ ʜʏᴜɴɢ, ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs?"Be careful who you are talking to.Trigger Warning: Suicide, Murder- 2020[ No Plagiarism ]
Relationships: Brothers - Relationship, Chensung, Family - Relationship, Friendship - Relationship, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le, Schoolmates - Relationship, classmates, lovers - Relationship
Comments: 13
Kudos: 26





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native english speaker. I learnt english as a second language, so, if there's any grammatical error please notify me so I can correct it.
> 
> And please, leave a comment: critic or praise. Just to keep my motivation on writing and to keep the story better.
> 
> I also have a wattpad account (@shhhaine) where I also post my other nct fanfics. You can check them out!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This book contains suicide and bloody murder scenes. Read at your own risk.

BREAKING NEWS:

A body of an 18-year-old student from Neo University was found dead buried near the river banks. The victim's identity was unrecognisable due to injuries as he was brutally killed. His face and head is severely broken, his limbs are all broken, he have bruises and wounds all over his body. But the corpse was identified to be Park Jisung based on the ID and wallet that was found inside his pocket.

According to the police, the victim was declared missing two days ago. The last place that he went to was his school, Neo University. He wasn't seen at any CCTV cameras at the university going out, that's why it is a question to the police how did his body was found near the river banks.

Currently, the police have no leads to the suspect or suspects of the murder of Park Jisung. They'll investigate and gather more data to find the suspect/s, and the management of the Neo University is willing to help the police authority on the investigation of the murder of their student.


	2. 1: You Tell Me

Chenle was looking down at the school ground from the rooftop of the main building. The students are slowly fading away from his sight as they go to their classes.

Chenle never liked school that's why he's here cutting classes. Once the class finally starts and all the students and professors are focused on studying then that's when he will go out of the university. His mom took him here that's why he has no choice but to go inside even if he doesn't want to, he didn't want to disappoint his mom by cutting classes in front of her that's why he acted like he miss school.

He was absent for a month and he just got back today. He got into a car accident four weeks ago and he was at coma for three weeks, he rested for a week, and now he's back to school. There are some side effects caused by the car accident, he can't run like before because his limbs are still healing. He also have a temporary amnesia, he remember mosts of the things but there are some certain people or events in his life that he can't remember. His doctor said that he'll regain those memories once his brain is fully healed from the accident. 

Chenle looked at the wrist watch that he's wearing. This is good. I'm waiting here for an hour already.

Chenle stand up from his seat and went down from the rooftop. Chenle suddenly stopped from walking when he heard a sound coming from the end of the corrider, he's currently at the 3rd floor of the building. Chenle looked at the direction where the sound came from and he walks slowly towards it.

Theater room? Chenle wondered. It's a question to him why there's a person there because as far as he know that room is under reconstruction. It was out of order.

As Chenle continue to walk, the sound become more louder. It was footsteps but it wasn't just a normal footseps, the person wasn't running or walking based from the sound. It sounds like someone was dancing from the room. But why would someone be there if it's out of order?

As Chenle got nearer to the theater room his feelings got heavier, the vibe of the whole 3rd floor was eerie. But it didn't stop him from satisfying his curiosity. 

The door of the room was slightly opened and Chenle peaked through it but he couldn't see anything inside. The lights of the entire room was off, the windows are closed and window blinds are also rolled down, the sunlight from his direction wasn't helping either. The sound stopped also.

A few seconds later, he decided to not waste his time any more because it may just be his illusion or imagination. But before he even turn his back away from the room, he saw a boy coming out of the room. 

The boy was injured. He is wearing a cast on his left leg and to his left arm, he also has crutches on the both of his arms.

How did this boy end up here? Chenle asked himself.

"I'm sorry. May I ask where's the faculty room of the history teachers?" The boy asked. The boy resembles both hamster and chick. He looks younger and he wasn't wearing any uniform like Chenle. This guy is not from here.

"At the 2nd floor," Chenle answered. "Do you want to me to escort you?"

It's impossible that this guy is a transferee because they're already in the middle of the semester and as far as he know the university isn't accepting transferees at this time of the semester.

The guy smiled at Chenle and he looks innocent unlike the younger people he met. "Thank you."

"I'm not studying here but my Dad is working here as a history teacher at junior high school," the boy said when he noticed how Chenle look at him and at the clothes that he's wearing. "By the way, what's your name?"

"Chenle," he answered plainly.

"I'm Jisung, Park Jisung!" The guy answered with a cheeful voice as he offer his right hand to Chenle for a handshake.

Before Chenle accept the handshake he noticed some bruises and cuts from Jisung's right hand. There's no cast but there are bruises and wounds.

"I got into an accident two weeks ago that's why I have these," Jisung said shyly at Chenle, "How old are you?"

"I'm 19," Chenle answered. He examined the Jisung's features as they walk down to the 2nd floor, he even assisted Jisung taking the stairs because the lad was having a hard time on taking the stairs because of his casts on his left leg and arm. Chenle's sure that Jisung also had a hard time going up here at the 3rd floor earlier.

"Oh, you're older than me. I'm 18 now," Jisung replied. "Can I call you hyung? I don't have anyone to call hyung because I don't have a sibling at home."

"Don't you have older friends?" Chenle asked.

Jisung shakes his head. "I am homeschooled. Also, no one wants to be friends with me in our neighborhood."

Chenle felt pity towards the younger. He can't imagine being alone like Jisung for the rest of his life and he doesn't have any friends to rely on.

"But did you experience playing?" Chenle curiously asked.

Jisung nodded, "Yeah, but just on our house with our maids."

He play with maids? Chenle was shocked at Jisung's answers. He can't even have a normal chilhood like normal kids.

"Hmmm, do you want to exchange numbers? You have a cellphone, right?" Chenle asked. "Let's be friends."

The delight was visible in the younger's face that made Chenle chuckled, "Sure, hyung!"

"Uhm, hyung, can you write your number here? I don't have neither paper nor ballpen with me," Jisung said as he point out the cast that he's wearing because he saw that Chenle doesn't have a bag with him that's why he assumed that the older doesn't have a paper with him, but he wishes that he has a ballpen.

Chenle immediately look for a pen inside his pocket and luckily, he has one. Chenle carefully writes his number at Jisung's cast. "How about your number? Do you want to it on my uniform?"

"No need, hyung. I'll just text you," Jisung said with a smile and Chenle nodded.

After a few more steps the two finally reached the faculty room of history teachers and they part ways after. Chenle can't forget the image of Jisung's smiling widely as he wave his hands at him before he leave. There's something about Jisung that makes him feel attached even though they just met today. There's something about Jisung that urges Chenle to get to know the younger more. Chenle wants to take care of the fragile Jisung against the cold, cruel world. He wants Jisung to stay pure, naive and fragile like he is now. 

When Chenle got out of the campus he went to the place he always go to every time that he cut classes. Jeno's house.

"Aye, he's here!" Jaemin cheered when Chenle entered Jeno's apartment. They did a bro fist then Chenle sit at the couch.

"Hand me one," said Renjun and Jeno immediately gave him a stick of cigarette. Renjun grabbed a lighter from his pocket and lit up his cigaretten then he huff on it.

"Here," Jaemin handed Chenle a glass of beer. Chenle immediately accepts the glass and drink the beer in it. 

"How's the one month without me?" Chenle asked. "You fuckers, you only visit me once at the hospital."

"Are you an idiot? You know your mom doesn't like us," said Jeno as he puff his cigarette and take a sip from his glass of beer.

Jeno said the truth. Chenle's mother doesn't like them because for her they are a bad influence for his son. She saw them drinking, smoking and they're also not taking their studies seriously that's why she doesn't want Chenle to hang out with the. Fortunately, Chenle's doing fine at the university. In Chenle's defense, he was just doing this for his mom who works hard every day and every night for him because if you ask him he really doesn't want to study. School doesn't make any sense to him.

Chenle wants to die but he didn't want to commit suicide, he doesn't want to see his mother blaming herself for his death. That's why when he got into a car accident, he was happy, but then maybe the one above doesn't want him to die that's why he's still alive. ngayon. This is the reason why Chenle was doing all of this. Smoking. Drinking. Joining fraternity fights. He wants to kill himself in the natural way.

"Why are you drinking early today?" Chenle boredly asked the three. Mostly, they drink drink at evening and during this time, morning, they'll just smoke and watch T.V., or a movie, or play video games.

"We're celebrating! Jeno got accepted at his dream model agency and then Renjun will compete at nationals for an art competition," said Jaemin. Even thought it looks like they won't achieve anything they still have their own dreams that they want to achieve unlike Chenle.

"Oh, nice. Congrats!" Chenle said, emotionless.

"I can feel that 'congrats' very well," said Renjun sarcastically as he raise his middle finger in front of Chenle. Chenle chuckles because of Renjun's reaction.

Still as short-tempered as ever.

The time passes by and the four just continue to drink. They drink and smoke their cigarettes happily, the whole living room was full of laughter and teasing.

"I have to go now," said Chenle after he checked the time on his wrist watch. It's already 7:00 PM and he has to be home before his mother arrive. He doesn't want his mother to know that he drink and smoke. Good thing he has a high alcohol tolerance and he's still sober.

"It's too early!" Renjun complained. "Stay here."

"I have to be home before Mama arrives," said Chenle.

"Then go now, mama's boy," Jeno teased him. 

"Fuck you," said Chenle as he raise his middle finger to Jeno before he leave the house. 

When Chenle got home, good think that he's mom is not there yet. He immediately went up to his room and took a bath, he brushed his teeth well to remove the smell of alcohol and cigarette in his mouth. He doesn't want him mom to smell the alcohol and cigarettes he took. After that, he lie on his soft bed and wait for his mother to come home from work.

Why's Jisung not texting me yet? Chenle asked himself as he look into his phone. Did he forgot to text me?

After a few minutes, an SMS notification popped into his screen. It was a text from an unknown number.

From: +639264759315

Hi hyung. This is jisung

From: +639264759315

Im sirry for senfing it jist now. its hard to typr (╯︵╰,)

Chenle smiled because of Jisung's text. He appreciates the effort of the lad on typing because it must be hard for him to type because of his cast while his other hand is full of wounds and cuts. Chenle saved Jisung's number on his contacts as a chick emoji since Jisung reminds him of a chick— cute, innocent, and fragile.

To: 🐥

Can I call you? So you don't have to type

From: 🐥

Sure!

Chenle immediately call Jisung's number and the younger answered it after a few rings.

"Hyung!" said Jisung the moment he pick up the call.

"You sounds happy," said Chenle, smiling.

"Because I finally have a friend," said Jisung. Even thought Chenle can't see Jisung's face he's sure that the younger is smiling.

"Hyung, can I have a request?" Jisung asked Chenle.

"Sure. What is it?" Chenle answered immediately.

"Chenle hyung, can you tell me something about your friends? I want to know them," said Jisung. "I want to know what kind of person they are. I feel like if you tell me about them i'll feel like I also have a friend."

"Sure," Chenle answered. It's just a simple request from the younger and he can give it to him. "Do you want to meet them? That'll be better."

"No need. I just want you to tell me something about them, you can tell me stories about them," said Jisung.

"Hmmmm," Chenle hummed. "Well, I have three friends. Jeno is my friend who's into modeling. Actually, he just got accepted at his dream modeling agency. Then I also have a friend who's into arts, his name is Renjun. He will compete in an art competition next week. Then the most stubborn among all of us, his name is Jaemin. He's a member of a fraternity then he invited me to join them but I rarely go to frat wars, so, among the two of us he's the one who frequently had bruises."

"Hyung, can I have another request?" Jisung asked one more time. "Can you tell me something, can be a story, about the people around you? Like your classmates, schoolmates, or people you meet in general. I just want to know what kind of people surrounds you."

"Sure, no problem," Chenle answered.

Chenle agreed on a request without knowing its consequences. Because it's just a harmless request from a lonely teenager, right?


	3. 2: Chrysanthemum

"Chenle hyung, are Jeno hyung, Jaemin hyung, and Renjun the only person in your life?" Asked Jisung through the phone.

"Of course not. My Mom is also one of them," Chenle answered.

"Aside from your mother who else?" Jisung asked one more time.

Chenle stopped for a few seconds to think, "They are not that important though."

"Even if they are not important I want to know them," said Jisung. "Please, hyung."

"Uhm... Well, I have a smart classmate, his name is Mark Lee, he is also our class president. Then Lee Donghyuck is our jokester classmates, he threw jokes even to teachers. Then our fraternity leader is Taeyong hyung, his bestfriend is Yuta who is also his right-hand man in the fraternity then Johnny is our rich fraternity member— he's the one who mostly spend our needs in the fraternity then the other members of the fraternity are Sichen, Ten, Lucas, Jungwoo, and Jaehyun. I don't know my frat members that well because I rarely talk to them and I rarely see them, it was Jaemin who mostly go there among the two of us," told Chenle. "I can't recall the other people in my life but if I remember them I will tell you."

"Thank you, hyung," said Jisung. "Thank you because you grant my request."

"It's okay, no problem. Are you sure you don't want to meet them?" Chenle asked. "Even if they are part of a fraternity they are still good people."

"No need, hyung," Jisung answered.

THE NEXT MORNING Chenle woke up because of the sunshine that came from his room's window pane. His mom left the curtains open for him to wake up to the sun and in addition to that his mom also turn off the air condition— which would totally wake him up.

He and Jisung talked all night— he discovered many things about the younger. Even though he is homescholed he experienced going to school when he was in elementary but when become a highshool student his parents decided to have him homeschooled because he was bullied at his former school and Jisung is the one who doesn't want to go to school because of it. Chenle discovered that Jisung likes to dance and he's taking private classes in dancing before but because of his accident he stopped and there's a possibility that he won't be able to dance again because of the severity of his injury. After of hours of talking to each other Chenle instantly fell asleep because of tiredness and the liquors he drank. He didn't even eat his dinner and he did not even see his mother because he's already sleeping when she came home.

When Chenle came down to the kitchen he saw a plate of bacon, egg, and brown rice at the table. His mom is already gone to work, she went to work early and mostly came home late because she also works overtime. There's no time for him and his mother to bond. Chenle immediately grab the plate and went to the living room to eat his breakfast because it feels too lonely to eat in the kitchen.

Chenle sit at the couch and turn on the television to add some noise in the quite house and to also listen. Because it's still in the early morning, the morning news is the only available show. Chenle doesn't have any problem with the news because he only turn the TV on to add noise.

"According to the police, they still have no leads to the possible suspect or suspects of the 18-year-old boy who were brutally murdered last month. They can't find any DNA trace or fingerprint on the boy's body. The parents of the 18-year-old wants justice for their son, they are willing to pay 1 Million to anyone who can trace—" Chenle immediately turn off the TV because of the pictures shown on it. He can't look at those photos while eating, he'll lose his appetite. The pictures are disgusting and the status of the dead boy was truly gruesome.

After Chenle ate he wash his own dishes and went to the bathroom to take a bath. He have to go to school today because they have a long quiz in history and even though he didn't review for it he will still go to class because he will still have a grade for it even if he won't pass. Chenle honestly doesn't care how high or low his grades are, he doesn't want those number define his future. His classmates are idiot for following the stupid grade standards. Imagine being blinded by high grades, Chenle can't relate.

While he was walking to school the phone from his pocket vibrates. He immediately grab his phone on his pocket and check who texted him. He received two messages:

From: Na Jaem

Go to Jeno's place ASAP

From: Class President Mark Lee

Our class for today is cancelled. Please go to Lee Jeno's house and wear white.

The moment that he read the text messages he felt nervous. Why do the have to cancel the classes? Why do they have to go to Jeno's house? Something is not right. Chenle doesn't what is it but he was scared to go to his friend's house.

Chenle ran to Jeno's house. When Chenle got there he was stunned when he saw three police car and an ambulance, there's a police barricade all around Jeno's house that says 'POLICE LINE- Do not enter'. Some of the police were stopping the neighbors and passerbys from intruding while some are inside the house.

He was puzzled. He was confused. Why there's a police here? Why there's an ambulance here?

Chenle roamed his eyes around the area and look for Jaemin and Renjun. He saw Renjun sitting on the streets and back pinned against the wall, looking at nowhere and silently cring. He was Jaemin talking to one of the police while crying.

He approached Jaemin worriedly. "Hyung, what happened? Why there's a police in here?"

Instead of answering Chenle's question, Jaemin said to the police while trying to hold back his tears from falling down. "Please explain it to him."

Chenle looked at the police.

"Are you one of Jeno's friends who came here yesterday?" The police asked.

Chenle nodded. "Yes, why?"

"Your friend, Huang Renjun, found his body hanging on the ceiling. Your friend is already dead. The police inside are currently investigating what happened but it looks like your friend commit suicide," the police replied.

Suicide? Impossible.

"The chief inspector and the forensic team is here," the police announced.

Jaemin and Chenle immediately turn their back and looked at the two people walking towards their direction, and Renjun who's silently crying at the side stands up and go to their direction.

"Did our friend really commit suicide?" Renjun asked.

"It's impossible that Jeno killed himself. He's happy yesterday," said Chenle, refusing to believe what the other police told him.

"We're sorry to tell you but it looks like your friend really commited suicide," the forensic said.

"He hung himself on the ceiling and there are several cuts on his face, too. We found these lying on the floor," the chief inspector said and showed them a knife, a small piece of parchment and a three white flowers in three different plastic bags.

"He used the knife to cut his face and we found a suicide note," said the forensic. "He wrote "I'm sorry" on the paper. Do you know anyone who he have done wrong? It sounds like he was apologizing to someone and maybe he can't take it that's why he hung himself."

Jaemin grabbed the plastic bag with a small parchment. Chenle knows Jeno's handwriting and he can confirm that it was really his friend's handwriting.

"Why is there a flower?" Renjun asked. "We did not notice it in his house yesterday."

"This flower is a chrysanthemum. It symbolyzes death, this flower was also given to funerals and tombs of someone who passed away to honor them and pay respect. We don't know if he was pertaining to himself when he bought this or someone he knew died," the forensic answered and then they left.

They saw four person pulling a stretcher where Jeno's body was lying and covered in a white cloth.

As far as Chenle knows Jeno doesn't have any friends, family, or relatives who died.

Chenle did not expect Jeno to commit suicide. They were happy yesterday. They were drinking, cussing at each other and laughing their heart out. Jeno just got accepted at his dream agency as a model. This is so fucked up.

Why would Jeno commit suicide when he already achieved his dream?


	4. 3: One to Two

Hours after Jeno's corpse was brought in the morgue, he was then brought to the funeral chapel for his wake. Chenle went home to change his clothes to white. 

Inside the chapel was Jeno's parents; mourning for the sudden death of their young son. Renjun, Jaemin, and Chenle were all sitting on the first row of pews inside the small church. Both Renjun and Jaemin were bawling their eyes out while on the other hand, Chenle was unknowingly staring into space. 

"He was supposed to start with his job next week," Jaemin blurted as he gradually stopped weeping. "We were supposed to brag about us having a friend being on the magazines."

Chenle remained silent. He was listening, but he can't manage to speak yet. Not now. 

"I don't know what that fucker's problem is, and he suddenly thought of killing himself out of nowhere," Jaemin tried to crack a joke to lessen the tension and sadness, but it just added more to what they are already feeling. 

"That fucker, really. Killed himself— didn't even try to tag us along," Kid Jaemin once again.

"He recently just bought a new gaming console. We weren't even able to play it together, yet he left us already," Jaemin continued to share his thoughts. Chenle doesn't stop him from doing this because he knows that this is the only way Jaemin can ease the pain. By this, they can also remember more of the memories they had with Jeno. "We can't play with that anymore. It's scary— using a dead persons's belongings."

"Jeno died. Still, all you can think of is games," Renjun reprimanded him.

"I was just kidding," Jaemin retorted. "I just don't want to be consumed by all these sadness."

A little while later, Mark came alongside other classmates. Some of their teachers were also present. 

"Condolences, bro," Mark uttered before he went to his seat. Chenle nodded as response, while Jaemin and Renjun thanked him for coming. 

"I'll head out. I need some fresh air," Chenle stated for his seatmate, Jaemin, to hear. He, then, went out, just like what he said. 

Chenle walked away from the funeral chapel. He can't stay inside any longer - he needs to breathe. He refuses to believe that Jeno really committed suicide. He was with him yesterday, drinking happily, but now he's dead and is quietly lying inside his casket. It all happened so soon to the point that it seemed unreal that Jeno did it. Besides, he can't say if Jeno really was happy at that time or was he just hiding all his sadness from them? 

When Chenle found a secluded area, he got his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and kindled one cigarette. Chenle was quietly smoking by the side, when he saw a familiar face from the café on the other side of the street. 

It was Jisung.

Jisung was sitting on the table, in front of the window. That's why Chenle can see his face clearly. He noticed that he was sitting alone while quietly drinking his grape ade. Chenle quickly threw his cigarette on the floor, stepped on it, so the kindled cigar lost its fire. He then proceeded to where Jisung is located— in the café. 

When Chenle got inside the said place, he swiftly sat in front of Jisung. "Why are you here?

"I was supposed to meet my new tutor here, but she ditched me," Jisung replied. "I'm just finishing my drink then I'll go home after."

"Why are you here, hyung?" Jisung asked. 

"I saw you. That's why I came here," Chenle answered. 

"Were you smoking?" Jisung asked. "You smell like you smoked."

Chenle nodded, "Don't you like it?" 

Jisung nodded, "I don't really like the smell of cigarettes. I can't breathe properly because of the smoke and the smell."

"I'm sorry," Chenle apologized. Maybe I should limit my smoking habit. 

"Were you crying, hyung?" Jisung asked when he noticed Chenle's red and puffy eyes. 

"I attended my friend's funeral," Chenle answered. "He died today. I can't stay any longer, so I went out, then I happened to see. I needed a breather."

"Are you saying that I am your breather?" Jisung asked. "I should be honored to be Zhong Chenle's breather."

Chenle nodded, "Your presence makes me calm."

"We literally just met yesterday, hyung. Now, you're already saying this to me," said Jisung. He, then, took a sip from the grape ade. "You're lying."

"I'm not lying. Do I look like a liar to you?" Chenle asked. 

"Well, to be honest, you do," Jisung joked. 

"Wow! So you're telling that to a handsome guy like me?" Chenle retorted. 

"Are you sure you're handsome, hyung?" Jisung joked again. "Just kidding. But, is it true that I am your breather?"

Chenle nodded, "Weren't you listening attentively? I said, yes you are. Your presence makes me calm, and you make me at ease just like yesterday. Also, during our phone call last night, you shooed my exhaustion away. Now, I got drained, sad, and in pain because of my friend's sudden death, but the moment I saw you earlier, it lessened."

Jisung smiled, "I'm glad to be your breather."

"Do you want to come with me? At our house?" Jisung asked. "I want to show you something. It might help in lessening the sadness you feel with your friend's death."

"What is it?" Chenle curiously asked. 

"I won't tell you. Just come with," said Jisung and Chenle nodded.

The two went out of the cafe and took a taxi on the way to Jisung's house. When they got inside, Chenle was surprised to see Jisung's house— he did not thought that he came from a well-off family. They were welcomed by the maids working in the household and they assisted Jisung in climbing the stairs. They also brought snacks and drink inside his room.

The two, then, proceeded to Jisung's room.

Chenle examined the younger's room. It was big and simple. The color of the room was cream and black. Jisung used a queen sized bed. A flatscreen TV and a computer set can also be seen inside the room. The study table was adjacent to the computer set. A balcony was located just outside, resulting to the sun's rays giving natural light in his room. A coffee table and two chairs were also seated on the floor. So, the whole place was like of a hotel. 

"Well, hyung, I also lost someone close to me," Jisung stated while holding a photo album. The two sat on the soft bed. 

"Who?" Chenle asked. 

"My brother," Jisung answered. "I actually had a twin brother, but he died when we were still young - during elementary. He died because of heart complications, and I was the only one who lived 'cause I was the healthier one between us."

Jisung opened the photo album and Chenle saw a kid that looked exactly like Jisung. He could not differentiate who is Jisung and who's his brother was. 

"This is him," Jisung pointed at the kid wearing a red striped shirt. "Every time I miss him, I would always look at his photo and talk to him. In that way, I became less sad. It somehow makes the worries go away. Maybe you should do that to your friend's picture or belongings, it might help."

"The friend who died to day; it was Jeno. I told you about him last night, am I right?" asked Chenle. 

"The model one? That's too sudden," Jisung commented. "He died so young."

"He did," said Chenle. "But you know what's frustrating about his death?"

"What?"

Chenle wiped the forming tears away. He has not started speaking out his thoughts, yet here he was, crying already. 

"He could've chose to tell us what his problems were, but he chose to end his life. What were we? We were friends, weren't we? It's frustrating. Annoying. We were also happy drinking yesterday. Then the following day, we'd learn about his death. If we would have known that he'd do such a deed, then we wouldn't have had left his house. We could have stayed with him the whole time."

Jisung pat the older's back to comfort him. He could not find the right words to say to console the older because he knows that no words can comfort Chenle's grief about the death of his friend. 

"He's such a fucker. Died so early..." Chenle added while bawling his eyes out. "I wanted to punch him inside his coffin. He died earlier than I was supposed to..."

All of a sudden, Chenle's phone started to ring. Before he reached for the phone inside the pocket to answer the call, he wiped his tears first. It was Jaemin. 

"Why?" Chenle asked Jaemin the moment he picked the call up.

Jaemin remained silent. He did not reply. All Chenle could here was a loud cry from Jaemin. 

"Hyung! Why? What's the problem?" Chenle started to panic because of his hyung's silence. Jisung, on the other side, looked worried. 

"About Renjun..." Jaemin started, but he couldn't finish his sentence. 

"What's with Renjun?" Chenle asked, uneasy. 

"His parents tried to save him. They rushed him to the hospital, but the doctor said he was dead on arrival," said Jaemin with a shaky voice. He was sobbing so hard. "He went home after you left the chapel. He said that he will just be taking a nap. But then, his parents saw him lying on his bedroom floor, bathing in his own blood. He cut his own wrist. What the actual fuck? Why did he need to follow Jeno?!"

Chenle dropped his phone on the floor as tears went down rapidly from his eyes. 

In just one day, two of his friends died because of suicide. 

Fuck.


	5. 4: Three and Six

Jaemin woke up to an unfamiliar place. It was dark and foggy and cold. Jaemin tried to look around to see where he is but he failed to because he kept on falling on the floor because of diziness.

"Ah, fuck," Jaemin cursed when he fell on the floor again. Then Jaemin heard footsteps coming into his direction.

"Who's that?" Jaemin loudly asked but no one answered. Instead, he felt someone wrapped his mouth with a barbed wire. Jaemin screamed in pain but as time went on his mouth became more and more injured.

"Who are you?!" Jaemin shouted as his mouth gets bloodier. The cut in his mouth caused by the barbed wire got bigger and his tongue starts to bleed.

Please! Please! Remove this! Jaemin begged in his mind. He could not talk anymore because the more he talks the more that his mouth will rip open because of the wire.

Jaemin tried to look around and he saw a silhoutte of a boy walking towards him. He could not see it clearly because his visions are now blurry as he was dizzy and in pain. 

"Do you remember me?" The boy asked Jaemin as he gripped Jaemin's hair tightly.

Jaemin saw the boy smirked. He could not remember who the boy was. He was familiar but he could not recall where he saw him.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Jaemin asked as his mouth bleeds. He can taste his own blood. Jaemin quivered and cried in pain.

"That's sad," the boy said in a playful tone. "You cannot remember me. And you also can't talk properly, isn't it painful?"

"How about this? I'll do all the same thing you did to me so you can remember me," The boy giggled as he kicked Jaemin in the stomach. The boy kicked hard to the point that Jaemin coughed blood on the floor. 

He tightly grabbed Jaemin's hair and harshly removed the barbed wire in his mouth. Jaemin screamed in pain as his mouth cut in half. Jaemin's mouth cut in half!

All Jaemin could hear was a laugh from the boy he do not know. The boy is clearly satisfied hearing Jaemin scream in pain. He was enjoying this.

Jaemin thought it was over when the boy walked away but he was wrong, the boy came back holding a hammer. Jaemin crawled away from the boy, he was running for his life. This boy is a psychopath! He will kill him! Jaemin could hear the boy laugh, the boy is clearly enjoying seeing Jaemin run for his life.

"I am not that harsh, Jaemin," the boy said. "I will blindfold you, of course. I know you couldn't stand to see your own hands get crushed, right?"

Jaemin tried to run using all his strength but he couldn't. He could find the door of this room. He roamed his eyes around the dark but all he could see was a wall clock.

3:45 AM.

The boy caught Jaemin effortlessly and he covered Jaemin's eyes with a blindfold. Jaemin tried to fight back but the guy is stronger than him. There is something in this room that made him weak but he couldn't it out. Jaemin knew he's not this weak because he joined and fought on fraternity war.

The boy held Jaemin's hand and pinned it to the floor. The boy started to smash Jaemin's hand with a hammer again and again and again, and when he got tired on the hand that is now all bruised and cut, the boy held the other hand and smashed it with a hammer like what he did to Jaemin's other hand.

All he could feel was pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. 

Jaemin whimpered in pain.

"Kill me already!" Jaemin shouted but the boy ignored Jaemin. It would be better if he would die already so that he won't feel the pain anymore. He won't suffer anymore. Jaemin wants to die now. He's wishing that this boy would just kill him already.

The boy suddenly stopped on smashing his hands with a hammer. Jaemin heard the boy walking out, the footsteps are fading slowly.

Is it over now? Jaemin asked himself because he couldn't hear anything.

Jaemin slowly removed the blindfold he was wearing. His hands are both shaking because of how hard the boy smashed it with a hammer. He forced his hands to move as he scream in pain. Right after his blindfold was removed, he saw his hands dripping with blood and full of bruises then he saw a mirror. Jaemin saw that the whole room was covered in mirror. He realized that he was in the theather room.

Jaemin screamed in horror when he saw the boy coming back with a knife in his right hand while smiling at Jaemin. "Please! Do not come near me! I'm begging you, don't kill me!"

"Really?" The boy asked, he was disappointed. "I thought you want me to kill you? You said that few minutes ago." 

"Please don't." Jaemin is shaking from his place. He was crying and begging. 

The boy did not listen. The moment that he got closer to Jaemin, he stabbed Jaemin's side. The boy stabbed his stomach then he stabbed his chest and then he stabbed his back. The boys keeps on stabbing Jaemin all over his body. Because of the mirror around him, Jaemin saw his own body fall into the floor. Jaemin saw himself getting stabbed by the boy with a wide smile repeatedly.

Jaemin was unknowingly staring into space. Blood are coming out from his mouth and all over his body. He could not complain anymore. He could not scream for help anymore. He could not cry anymore. But before he take his last breath, Jaemin remembered who the boy was. He can now remember the boy who has a wide smile. The boy who keep on stabbing him.

IT'S BEEN TWO weeks since Jeno and Renjun's burial. Chenle was still unable to move on about the death of his friends but he tried his best to not get sad. He talked to Jisung a lot and they meet each other almost everyday. Jisung was the one who can successfully cheer him up. Jisung can easily make Chenle happy and Chenle is so thankful for that. If he hadn't met Jisung, he probably would have committed suicide and followed Jeno and Renjun out of grief. Jisung is heaven sent.

He was now on his way to the university. After the funeral of Jeno and Renjun, everything seemed to return to normal. No one in their class dares to mention their name or everything related to the two. It's like an unsaid rule to the whole class. 

Renjun was supposed to compete last week to the art competition and represent the university but because of his death, he was replaced by a senior student. Ten competes in Renjun's place, he is a senior student who was also part of Taeyong's frat. While walking Chenle's phone ring. To be honest, he was afraid to take his cellphone out of his pocket because the he last did that he was informed of the deaths of his two friends. But he cannot ignore the call so he grabbed his phone from his pocket. It was from Jisung. He's now in relief.

"Good morning," Chenle greeted the younger.

"Good morning, hyung!" Jisung greeted in a cheerful tone. "Hyung, I will go to the hospital today. The cast in my arm and hand will be finally removed!" 

"Do you want me to go with you?" Chenle asked.

"No, it's okay, hyung. You have classes today," Jisung answered. "And besides, Mommy will accompany me there."

"I can ditch class for you," Chenle replied.

"That's bad, hyung," said Jisung. "Don't waste your tuition."

Chenle chuckled because of the younger's reply. Among the two of them, Jisung is the angel and he is the devil. Jisung singlehandedly managed Chenle to limit his smoking habits and drinking habits and now, he even make the older go to school and attend his classes. He is the complete opposite of Chenle.

"Hyung, can you tell me something about the people around you?" Jisung asked. "Because the last time you talked to me, it was not continued afterwards."

"Yeah, sure," sagot ni Chenle.

"I already told you about Ten hyung, didn't I? He replaced Renjun in the competition." said Chenle. "The whole frat went to their burial. And the president and vice president of the student council also went there, their names are Kim Doyoung and Qian Kun."

"Are they good at managing the council?" Jisung asked.

"They are. Every student likes the way they lead, they are not strict but they managed to get the whole student body follow them. They are also friendly and easy to get along with, that's why they can easily get the students to obey," said Chenle.

"That's nice! I feel like I want to meet them," said Jisung. "Hyung, I need to hang this call now. Mommy and I are leaving."

"Goodbye, Jisung. Take care," said Chenle and then drop the call.

When he arrived at the university, he saw a group of students across the gate. There are also police cars and an ambulance outside. Chenle saw the four people pulling a stretcher with a body, it was covered with a white cloth so he could not see the face.

Did someone die here? Chenle asked himself.

"Chenle!" Donghyuck called Chenle's attention while he's running towards him.

"Don't be surprised at what I'm going to say," said Donghyuck.

"What are you going to say?" Chenle asked. "Did anyone die here? Whose corpse is it?"

"Jaemin is dead," Donghyuck announced. "The police thought that he was murdered but after the investigation they said it was suicide. He went inside the school this 3AM then the janitor saw him inside the theater room around 6AM. He's covered with blood. The police said that Jaemin tried to kill himself with a hammer first but since he couldn't kill himself with that he took a knife and stabbed himself repeatedly. Jaemin's parents are talking to the police while ago, they said that after Jeno and Renjun died because of suicide, they have not been able to talk to Jaemin properly. They did not expect Jaemin to kill himself."

Chenle cannot utter a single word because of the news that Donghyuck delivered.

In a span of two weeks, all of his three friends committed suicide. He has not yet recovered from the deaths of Jeno and Renjun and then Jaemin suddenly followed the two.

"Chenle," Mark approached Chenle with an uneasy tone. Mark's hands was fidgeting.

"Why?" Chenle asked Mark. He was trying not to cry in public. He was trying to keep his shit together.

"Can we talk this friday? I want to tell you something," said Mark. "Let's meet at the main building's rooftop."


	6. 5: Maintain Your Silence

𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆

Jaemin's parents immediately had their son buried. They spent only three days for his wake and during those three days, Chenle did not attend school or go home. He stayed at the funeral chapel in that entire three days. Chenle blamed himself, he thinks that it was his fault why Jaemin committed suicide and why he died. If he only stayed at Jaemin's side and talked to him, sadness wouln't consume him and he would not thought of committing suicide. But instead on staying with Jaemin, he chose to make himself busy, to entertain himself, to shoo his sadness away to forget the death of Jeno and Renjun, that's why he failed to check Jaemin if he was doing okay.

Chenle was in great regret because he failed to talk to Jaemin, he failed to comfort his friend who was also grieving to Jeno and Renjun. If he only managed to talk to him and check on him, Jaemin would not commit suicide. Chenle blames himself for the death of his friend.

Chenle stared at the sky and then he heave a heavy breathe. He then grabbed his phone from his pocket and texted Mark. 

Today is the day he and Mark are supposed to meet at the rooftop of the main building. They were supposed to go here together but a teacher suddenly called Mark to the faculty, so Mark had to do his duty as the class president first. He told Chenle to go at the rooftop first.

To: Class President Mark Lee

Where are you? I'm already here at the rooftop.

After he sent the text, Chenle looked down at the school ground. What if I jump from here?

Chenle instantly shake off the thought of jumping from the rooftop. He doesn't want his mother to cry and be sad and blame herself for his death. Chenle promised to himself that he will never commit suicide but knowing that his three friends did it, he was tempted. Chenle wondered how does it feel to die, is it just like falling asleep or you'll see the heaven and hell like what they said? He doesn't know the answer.

Chenle reached his phone in his pocket once again to text Mark. He's been waiting for an hour and a half at the rooftop but Mark hasn't come yet. He's tired of waiting.

To: Class President Mark Lee

I'll go home now. Let's just talk on monday.

After he sent the text message, Chenle went down from the rooftop to go home.

MONDAY CAME FAST and Chenle saw two police officers inside their classroom.

After the deaths of his friends, whenever Chenle saw a police officer inside their university he can't help but to get nervous because the first thing that came to his mind is someone died again. Chenle looked down at the school ground to see if there's any police mobile outside but fortunately, there is none.

"You are Zhong Chenle, right?" The female police officer asked him the moment he stepped inside the classroom.

Chenle nodded.

"What did you and Mark Lee do at the rooftop last friday?" The female police asked.

Chenle was puzzled. He did not expect the police to ask him about Mark Lee. "We were supposed to meet there. He told me he wants to tell something. I waited there for an hour and a half but he did not came."

"Do you know where Mark can possibly go?" The police officer asked again.

Chenle shook his head. "Why are you asking me?"

"His parents reported that their son is missing since friday. He did not come home, he didn't call them or text them. Mark didn't contact anyone in your class, that's why we are investigating," the police answered.

"I'm really sorry but I don't have any idea about his whereabout or where he could possibly go," said Chenle.

"Thank you for your cooperation. cooperation. We'll just talk to your professors," said the police and they walk away to go the faculty room.

"You know where he is, didn't you?" said Kun who suddenly came out of nowhere. Kun was silently listening to the conversation from the stairway. Chenle's classroom was beside the stairway, that's why Kun heard their conversation.

"What are you talking about, hyung?" Chenle confusedly asked. He doesn't have any idea what Kun was talking about.

"You killed them, right?" said Kun. "You killed your friends, so, it's not impossible for you not to kidnap Mark and, maybe, kill him too."

"Are you accusing me?" Chenle blurted. "Look, I don't know where you got that idea. I don't have anything to do to my friend's deaths!"

Chenle never thought that Kun is like this. Kun was always rational. He did not expect that someone calm and rational like him to throw baseless accusations.

"Don't talk to him," said Doyoung. "He might kill you too."

The two left Chenle puzzled.

He was confused. He was puzzled why Doyoung and Kun are accusing him. That was so unlike them. They are far from the rational, calm, and respectful student council president and vice president that he knew.

"Is is true that Mark did not came there?" Asked Donghyuck the moment that Chenle sat on his chair.

Even if he was in a bad mood because of Doyoung and Kun, he nodded.

Donghyunck sighed. He did not know where Mark went. The police talked to him also but like everyone else, he does not know where he went and he also does not gave a single idea to his whereabouts.

Mark is his boyfriend. They are in a secret relationship. They still haven't announced their relationship to their parents, that's why they decided not to tell it to anyone, too, even to their friends. They are scared to be judged in this fucked up society just because they are both men and they are in a relationship.

Donghyuck was worried about Mark. He could not contact his boyfriend. He went to possible place where Mark might go but he couldn't see Mark there. It's worrying him to death. He was silently praying and hoping that nothing bad happened to Mark.

"JISUNG, I REALLY don't have a single idea why they accused me of killing my friends," Chenle vented out to Jisung. "I don't know how and why they accused me of killing a person!"

"Hyung, calm down," Jisung tried to calm Chenle. They are talking through the phone. "Maybe they are just blabbering."

"That's too much to blabber! You won't talk foolishly and accuse someone of killing a person if you're just blabbering," Chenle replied irritatedly.

"Maybe you should try to talk to them tomorrow about it," Jisung suggested.

"Yeah, that'll do. I'll try to talk to them to settle this and to be clear that I did not kill anyone," said Chenle. "I gotta sleep now, it's already 3:00 AM. You still have class tomorrow, right? You should sleep now, too."

"Oh, right. I forgot about it," said Jisung when he realized that they are talking for hours already. 

The two bid goodbye and say their goodnight to each other and went to sleep.

Later that night, a news article was published. It stated that an 18-year-old students from Neo University was found dead at an abandoned property. He was murdered. It seemed like the students was beaten to death and left there alone after he died. That student was identified to be Mark Lee, and the police are currently investigating the crime scene to gather clues to find the possible suspect.

And later that night also, Donghyuck hung himself. He could not accept that his boyfriend is dead. For Donghyuck, he lost his reason to live the moment Mark died. He will follow Mark to the afterlife. He will reunite with Mark to the afterlife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, someone who didn't die because of suicide. I'm sure y'all have a clue who's the killer.
> 
> Now, can you guess who's going to die next? And the reason why the boys are killed? I wanna know your answers.


	7. 6: Remember Him

𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒎

"Hyung, do you feel okay now?" Jisung asked Chenle who was sitting across from him.

Chenle nodded as he take a sip from his frappe. "Thank you because you stayed by my side for the past weeks."

Because of the continuous death of his friends and classmates, Chenle became sensitive. He's always uneasy whenever he was outside and whenever he go to school. Good thing that Jisung was on his side to calm him down. Jisung never fails to be his breather. Jisung never fails to make him calm and comfortable.

They are currently at the café near the school. It's been three weeks since the death of Mark and Donghyuck. Until now, the police still has now lead about Mark's murderer and a lot of students in Neo University are uneasy because of it. A lot of parents considered on transfering their child to a different university because of this. A lot of students are thinking that maybe they are getting killed one by one, especially on Chenle's class. There are some students saying that maybe Jeno, Renjun, Jaemin, and Donghyuck didn't die because of suicide, that it was murders disguised as suicides. But as day passed by, these rumors slowly faded. Fortunately, no one died in their class after Mark's and Donghyuck's death.

"You still won't come to class, hyung?" Jisung asked after he looked at his wrist watch. "Your class is about to start." 

Chenle pouts as he take another sip from his frappe. "Can I not go to class? It's too tiresome."

Jisung glared at him. "No. Don't waste your tuition, hyung. A lot of people wants to study but they couldn't because they can't pay for tuition fee. You should take your studies seriously because it's also for your own good. You should enjoy the privileges you have because not everyone—"

"Fine, fine. I'll go to class." Chenle cut Jisung's speech and then he grabbed his bag on the floor. Sometimes he feels that Jisung was his mother because he's like his mother when it comes on nagging him and lecturing him.

"Take me to the gate," said Chenle to Jisung.

"Hyung, you are not a kid anymore," Jisung replied.

Chenle's face saddened. "Please? I want to see your face before I enter the campus."

"You're seeing me right now," said Jisung that made the older frown.

"Fine. I'll go with you until the gate," said Jisung when he saw the older frown and Chenle immediately smile because of what the younger said.

The two silently walked to the Neo University with their hands intertwined. The cafe wasn't that far from the university, in fact, you'll just have to cross the road. After a more few minutes, the two part their ways.

"Who's that guy?" Taeil asked Chenle after he went inside the university. Taeil is a 4rth year student at Neo University. Chenle met him through an event in the university.

"Oh, it's Park Jisung," Chenle answered with a smile, then he saw the older's face turn pale when he mentioned the younger's name.

"How long have you known him?" Taeil asked Chenle. He was still pale.

"Hyung, are you okay? Do you want me to accompany you to the clinic?" Chenle worriedly asked when he saw Taeil's hand was shaking. It was obvious that Taeil was not at ease because of how frequent his eyes moves.

Taeil shook his head. "Just answer my question. How long have you known him?"

"I know him for almost two months already, hyung," Chenle answered.

"T-two months?" Taeil asked the younger, he was in shock and he was stuttering. Chenle immediately nod at him.

"Be careful... That's all I can say," said Taeil and he hurriedly went away from Chenle as though he was scared. Chenle was puzzled. He was confused why Taeil was acting like that, as though he saw a ghost.

After Chenle's class ended he received a text message from Johnny, one of his co-frat member.

From: Johnny Suh

Are you okay? Do you want to come over here?

Chenle didn't budge to reply, he immediately put his phone back to his pocket.

After he got out of the university, Chenle took a taxt on the way to Johnny's apartment. This is the first time he will see Johnny after three months, the older didn't go to Johnny, Renjun, and Jeno's wake or burial because he was in America at that time and he just got back here last week.

Chenle got off in front of a luxury condominium building. This wasn't the first time he went to the older's condo because everytime that there's a celebration in their frat, it was always held in here. 

Chenle went up to the 7th floor and after that, he walked to the room apartment. He pressed the doorbell and Johnny opened the door immediately.

"How are you?" Johnny asked him as Chenle sat on the couch.

Johnny'y condominium apartment still feels cozy and comfortable. It's a nice place, you can clearly saw the setting and the rising of the sun from its glass window.

"I'm fine, hyung," Chenle answered as he smiled awkwardly to the older.

"You know what, I don't think they'd commit suicide," said Johnny out of the blue as he lie his back on the couch.

"Why? How can you say?" asked Chenle. "That was the police's findings."

"It happened too sudden," said Johnny, he was uneasy. "But maybe it was really suicide. I can't think of anyoe who would want to kill them."

"The frat has a lot of enemies, right?" Chenle asked. He have been involved in some fights because of the fraternity. He saw how many people hated their fraternity and went back for vengeance. 

Johnny nodded, "Yeah but I don't think they can do that. If they're going to murder someone, they should come at Taeyong first since he's the frat leader or me and Yuta since we are also one of the powerful members."

Chenle nodded at what Johnny said. The older have a point.

"You, what keeps you busy these days?" Johnny asked him. "I know it's not easy for you to move on, especially you are closest to the three."

"I have been talking to someone. He's nice and he makes me calm," Chenle answered as he remember Jisung. "He's my breather. I rely on him since Jeno and the others died."

"That's good. At least you have someone by your side," said Johnny as he stood up to go to the kitchen. "Do you want any drinks? Water or juice?"

"Just water, hyung," said Chenle.

Johnny opened the refrigerator and grabbed a pitcher of cold water then he grabbed a glass from the cupboard, then he pour the water to the glass.

"May I know that guy's name?" Johnny asked.

"He's Park Jisung," Chenle answered, smiling.

Johnny suddenly become pale and he loosens his grip to the glass, then he dropped the glass to the floor.

"What?" Johnny asked, not minding the glass shards on his feet. "What's the name again?"

This can't be true. Johnny thought. It's impossible.

"Hyung, are you okay?" Chenle asked worriedly when he saw that Johnny's feet are bleeding. "I'll just get a—"

"Answer my question!" Johnny asked loudly that made Chenle startled.

"Park Jisung. That's the name," Chenle answered. "Is there a problem?"

"That's impossible, Chenle," said Johnny. "Jisung is already dead."

Chenle confusedly looked at Johnny. "That's impossible, hyung. He's alive. He's breathing. I can touch him."

"Can't you remember what we did four months ago?" Johnny asked. "We killed him. We killed your little boyfriend Jisung."


	8. 7: The Memories We Chose To Bury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are all flashbacks

"Chenle hyung! Run faster!" Jisung shouted as he run. "We're going to be late!"

"Wait for me!" Chenle shouted, he was panting.

The two are currently running on the way to a dance festival. They are rushing because they got out of the school late because their last subject finished late. 

Fortunately, the festival just started when they came to the venue. They immediately gave their tickets to the usher and went inside.

Jisung was in ecstasy. His eyes widens and his mouth opened in awe because of everything he was seeing.

Chenle was happily looking at the lad. 

Everything that Jisung was seeing right now was his dream. He wanted to be a dancer so bad but his father was against it. His father wants his to focus on studying to become a successful doctor like him and his wife. He kept on telling Jisung to stop spending his time on nonsense thing like dancing, that it won't do anything good to him.

Of course, Jisung didn't listen to everything his father had said. He focused on his studies, in fact, he was a honor student. But he still want to pursue his dream as a dancer, he still wants to dance even if until college, but it was all a secret he have to keep. His father would surely go berserk if he ever found out that Jisung enrolled himself in a few dance classes. And of course, Chenle helped him on keeping this secret to his father.

Jisung and Chenle are childhood friends turned to lovers. They grew up together; they cried together when they were kids, they go to the same elementary and highschool, and now, they went to the same university. They are inseperable. Everything was going too well in their relationship. They supported each other's passion.

If not for Chenle, Jisung wouldn't be here at the dance festival, Jisung wouldn't try to dance. It was all because of him and Jisung was so thankful because of that. 

The two have their hands intertwined as they watched the dance festival. The lights inside the venue was following the rhythm of the songs used. Everyone inside the venue are all enjoying what they are seeing. Everytime a performance is done, everyone would cheer and clap. It was loud and they are enjoying it.

"This is my dream," Jisung began. "It was my dream to go here. It was also my dream to perform at that stage even just once." 

"You can do it. You enrolled in a dance class, remember?" asked Chenle. "Maybe in the next dance festival you'll be part of the line up who'll dance and perform here." 

Jisung nodded as he smiled. He believed the older.

"WOAH! HYUNG LOOK at this! They released a new collection!" said Jisung to Chenle excitedly. He was even jumping, his mouth was slight parted, and his eyes are wide open.

"What's that?" asked Chenle as he tried to look at Jisung's phone.

Jisung showed Chenle his phone. Chenle saw a pair of shoes. It was Jisung's favorite brand of shoe.

"Isn't it beautiful?" asked Jisung in awe. "I want to buy it."

"Then but it."Then buy it. Your parents can pay for it," said Chenle. Jisung came from a well-off family. His parents are doctors, after all.

Jisung's face saddened.

"I don't think my parents will buy this for me. My grades are low this semester. I lost my focus on my studies because of my dance classes schedule. Maybe after I finished my current classes, I won't enroll until the semester ends and my grades are high again. Daddy might get suspicious,'' said Jisung. "They also reduced my allowance, that's why I couldn't save money for future classes."

He couldn't let his father know what he was doing. It would be the end of the world for him if his parents discovered that he enrolled himself on a dance class, the money he used there all came from his allowance which he saved. After his five remaining classes, he will stop for a while and focus on his studies until his grades are all high again.

JISUNG WAS STONED in his place. He couldn't belive what he just heard.

One of the dance teachers at the dance school told him that he was part of the line up who will join and dance for the dance festival next year.

"Did I just... Oh, god... I got in!" said Jisung as he jump in ecstasy. After almost a year, he was finally part of the line up. up.

The first thing that came to his mind was to tell this good news to Chenle.

He hurriedly went to Chenle's classroom, he entered there without saying anything to Chenle's classmates. He immediately hugged the lad that catched Chenle off-guard.

"What?" Asked Chenle as his eyes widens. 

Jisung was looking at him with a wide smile. "Hyung, one of my dance teacher just called. ko. They said that I am part of the line up who will perform at the next dance festival!"

"Congrats! You did it! I'm so proud of you!" said Chenle. "But doesn't it mean that you have to enroll again? Your contract to the dance school will end next week, right?"

Jisung was stunned. He didn't think of it. All he could think is he's part of the line up now.

Jisung's face saddened.

His parents are still watching him close because of his grades. His allowance was still reduced, he doesn't have extra money and he didn't save up any money.

"Yeah, right," said Jisung when he realized his situation. "I might not join them anymore. I can't enroll again." 

Is this a temporary bliss? He just achieved his dream yet it was already running away from his grasp.

Chenle saw the sadness in the lad's face when he realized that he couldn't participate anymore for the next dance festival. He was thinking of a way to earn money. He was thinking of giving Jisung money to enroll himself again to the dance school.

"Don't worry," said Chenle. "I'll think of a way to ear money to enroll yourself in that dance school. I won't let your dream to stay as a dream."

Jisung eyes widens as he shook his head. "Hyung, you don't have to do that. I'll just enroll myself next year."

"No. I'll take care of it. That's an opportunity, so don't let it go," Chenle reassured Jisung.

"Thank you, Chenle," said Jisung and he smiled.

"YOU ARE LOOKING for a way to earn money, right?" asked Jaemin. "Instead of working part-time in that cafe, join our frat."

"What does money have to do with your fraternity?" Asked Chenle.

"Taeyong hyung, our frat leader, gives a favor to the newbies. He would do anything you want. He would give you anything you want," said Jeno. "Even if how much money you need, if can give it as long as you are part of the fraternity." 

Chenle bit his lip, then he heave a deep breathe.

"Alright. I'll join," said Chenle.

He will join that fraternity for Jisung's sake.


	9. 8: Everything Was So Sweet Until You Tried To Kill Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of flashback

"Why is there a student in here?" Chenle nervously asked Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun the moment they came inside of the fraternity's hideout. Chenle could not say if the place was clean or dingy, but he could tell that it was dark inside. There are only few bulb on, it wasn't even that bright, which was mostly centered in the middle, to the boy who was sitting on a stool.

He saw a male student sitting on a stool. His hands and feet were both tied up. He was blindfolded with a black cloth and he was also wearing a muzzle to kept him from talking but it did not stop the boy to make sounds as though he was crying and begging. As Chenle got closer, he saw that the lad who was sitting on a stool were crying, he saw the visible tear stain on his cheeks. Chenle's eyes widened when he saw uniform of the lad. He got the same uniform as Jisung... but what shocked Chenle the most was when he saw the badge in the boy's right chest, he was wearing the same badge as Jisung meaning that he was in the same class as Jisung. In their school, you can determine the year and section of a student based on their collar's color and the badge that was pinned on their right chest. Chenle's uniform has a yellow line in his polo's collar which determines that he was a sophomore and he has a badge that read as B3 means that he was from the 3rd section while Jisung has a green line in his polo's collar which was the color of the freshmen and he was wearing a badge that read as A2.

The boy who was tied up in the stool was wearing a green colored collar and a badge that read as A2. The boy's whole face were covered because of his blindfold and muzzle. Chenle could only see his hair and red ears.

"So, you are the new one."

Chenle looked at the man who spoke. The man was undeniably good looking and Chenle could say that his eyes are his asset even though he has a scar on his left eye. His eyes are sharp and when he looked at Chenle, he felt like that man was looking at his soul. The man looked at him sharply while Chenle gawked at him which made most of the men inside the room laughed. 

Chenle looked like a lost kid.

They must have thought that I'm stupid to join this fraternity. Chenle thought.

"Jaemin, are you sure that your friend really wants to join us?" The tall guy teasingly asked. 

Jaemin nodded, "He was sure, Johnny hyung."

"He was raised as a good son that's why he's like this," Renjun commented at the side

"Today is the day of my initiation, right?" Chenle bravely asked.

Jeno told him a while ago that he would have his initiation process or pledging process today, after their class. Chenle wondered why it was fast, he thought that it would take a week to process his membership, but he did not dare to ask. As long as he would have the money after this, it was fine.

But Chenle could not stop looking at the boy who was tied up in the stool. He felt sorry for the lad. Chenle, then, thought that might also tie him up like this boy as part of the initiation process.

"Don't worry. We won't tie you like this boy here," said the man called Taeyong as he walked to the lad who was tied up and gripped his hair tight that made the lad whimper.

"As part of your initiation process, instead of making you do boring tasks like what your friends did, you will do a more exciting task," said Taeyong. His tone could tell that he was excited.

"To be a member of this fraternity, you have to kill this little fellow here," Taeyong added as he harsly tapped the head of the boy.

Chenle's eyes widened in fear. "What? Do you want me to kill?!"

"You want money, right?" Chenle heard someone spoke. He looked at that man. It was the one called Yuta. "Kill him and then we will give you the money after."

Chenle looked at the boy in the stool. Chenle shook his head. There's no way that he would kill someone.

"Is there no other way?" Chenle asked. "What if the police found this out? What if we get jailed?" 

Taeyong laughed with hilarity at him. "Oh my, Chenle. Rest assured, you won't get jailed."

"Yuta, Jaehyun, and Sicheng here are all good at disposing a dead body," said Taeyong.

"We haven't been caught," said the man named Lucas. "So just kill him, so we can finally dispose the body and go home early."

Chenle felt scared and nervous. This men... They looked like they are so experienced on killing someone. How could they say it with smiles in their lips? Like they did not take someone's life. 

"What now? Will you kill him now or what?" Taeyong boredly asked. "We're getting bored now, Chenle."

"There's money involved here, Chenle," said the man named Ten. "Do it now."

Chenle gulped. Chenle shut his eyes close and then he slowly nodded. He could feel himself sweating because of nervousness.

"Fine... I'll do it," said Chenle.

"Very good!" Said Taeyong with a wide smile in his handsome face. How could someone look this beautiful could order someone to kill without remorse?

"How do I kill him?" Chenle asked.

"We have lots of tools in here. You can choose one or maybe choose all of them," said the man named Jungwoo. Jungwoo then placed a box full of various tools. Chenle could see them; a barbed wire, a rope, a hammer, a sharp scissor, knives, and nails.

"The bloodier, the more entertaining," said Jaehyun with a smile.

Chenle slowly and nervously walked towards the box. He was thinking of a way to make the death of the boy less painful but all the tools here were made for brutal murder, as though they were telling him to make the boy suffer.

Chenle, then, grabbed a hammer.

He looked at the lad and then he moved slowly at him.

"I'm sorry," said Chenle to the boy. He could see tears that was falling on the boy's face. The boy was moving frequently as though he was trying to get his hands untied, as though he was protesting to get out of this place alive.

"I have to do this. I'm sorry," Chenle apologized again.

Chenle then hit the boy's hands with a hammer. He could hear a loud restrained cry from the boy. Chenle continued to hit the boy's hands with hammer until it turned red and purple. Chenle could now see the cuts at the boy's hands. The boy continued his whimpers, scream, and shout even though he had a muzzle in his mouth.

"Well, I think, you can untie that kid now and kill him without hassle," said Taeyong. "They boy can't escape. The door is locked, too."

Chenle looked at Taeyong then he gulped. He wished that this day would end fast. He wished that he could forget what he did today. He wished that the boy and his family may forgive him. 

Chenle slowly untie the boy, his hands were quivering. The boy's hands was quivering, too, and the way the boy inhales was very fast.

Chenle hyung, why? Jisung wanted to ask that but he could not speak as his mouth has a muzzle. He could not see. All he could here was the loud hilarity of the people inside the room. They are enjoying what they were seeing. They are enjoying to see him die slowly and painfully. 

"Hmmp! Hmmp!" Jisung tried to speak or at least make a sound. He was hoping that Chenle could remember his voice, so if that happens, he would stop following them. Jisung make a sound with all the energy that was left in him, but Chenle does not seem to hear him or find his voice familiar.

Chenle felt sorry for the boy. "Shhh... Please, stay silent or else they might make me do more things to you."

But the boy continues to make a sound. Taeyong's expression changed. Jisung could not keep on making a sound or else Chenle might recognize him. He won't let that happen.

"Jaemin," called Taeyong. "Get the barbed wire at put it in that motherfucker's mouth!"

Jaemin looked at him like a lost boy. "Me, hyung?"

"Obviously! You are the only one who named Jaemin here!"

Jaemin moved forward to the box to get the barbed wire. He, then, moved forward to Jisung. He knew that the boy behind the blindfold and muzzle was Jisung.

"Chenle, move back," said Jaemin. He could not let Chenle see Jisung's face or else he was done. If ever Chenle saw the boy's face, Jaemin was certain that Taeyong might kill him.

Chenle followed Jaemin. He moved back and all he could see was the boy's back. He just notice that the boy has the same body built as Jisung. Jaemin, then, started to remove the muzzle fast and replaced it with barbed wire.

Jisung's hoarse scream echoed all over the place. Jaemin wanted to puke by the view of Jisung's mouth and tongue covered in blood. He just slit his mouth and tongue.

"Remove it, Jaemin, and replace it with muzzle again," Taeyong ordered firmly. "Remove it harshly. Give me a good show, Nana."

Jaemin shut his eyes closed and then he pulled the barbed wire harshly and fast from Jisung's mouth. The blood splashed all over Jaemin's face. Jaemin, then, put the muzzle on his again with quivering hand. Then he walked back to his place, wiping the blood in his face and hands with his shirt.

Chenle did not know what happened next. It was too fast. The next thing he knew was Taeyong ordered him to smash the boy's hands and feet again until he could hear the bones crack, until the boy's blood splashed all over him. The boy was just lying on the floor with his restrained cry. 

"Stop, Chenle," Taeyong ordered.

Chenle looked at him. Is it over now?

Taeyong, then, smirked devilishly. Taeyong moved forward to the box and grabbed a sharp knife.

"Now, for the final touch," said Taeyong as he walked towards Chenle while swinging the knife playfully in his hand. Taeyong, then, handed the knife to Chenle. "Stab him to your satisfation. Kill him, Chenle."

Chenle accepted the knife with shaking hands then he moved forward to the boy that was lying on the floor.

"I'm sorry," said Chenle. "I am really sorry."

Chenle heaved a deep breath and he shut his eyes tight. After that, he stabbed the boy who was lying on the cold floor. sahig. The blood splashed all over his face, but the boy was still alive. He have to kill him. He should not stop stabbing him until he die.

"Die," said Chenle and then he stabbed the boy again.

Chenle hyung, why are you doing this? Jisung does not have the energy to make a small move or even cry. He was just lying there.

"Please die," said Chenle again and the then he pulled out the knife from the boy's body and insert it to him again.

Pull. Stab. Pull. Stab. Pull. Stab. Pull. Stab.

Did he really want to me to die? Jisung asked himself. Jisung closed his eyes inside the blindfold. He could feel the knife go inside of his body again then he felt that it was gone again. It was painful. It was awfully painful. Jisung wanted to die now.

If this what Chenle hyung wants then I will die. For Chenle hyung, I will die. Jisung could feel the knife go inside of this body again, and again, and again until the darkness swayed him.

"Stop, Chenle," said Taeyong after he saw Chenle stab the boy countless times. He was sure that they boy is dead now. No one lives after getting stabbed many times.

"Yuta," called Taeyong. "Check if the boy was already dead."

But no matter how much stab he got, Taeyong should still check it if he was really dead.

Yuta moved towards the boy's body and placed his two fingers into the boy's pulse. He could still feel it beating.

"It's still alive," said Yuta. Yuta. Chenle's eyes widened. How come he was still alive after receiving many stabs?

"Bury him alive," Taeyong ordered. "That boy has to die."

Chenle looked at Taeyong. "No! Let him live! He was still alive!" 

"Are you an idiot?" Taeyong asked sharply. "Do you want all of us to get jailed?!"

"But he was still alive! siya. Let him live!" said Chenle. The boy was fighting for its dear life. He regretted stabbing him. Chenle now changed his mind. He does not want to get money in this way. He knows that it was too late because he already did a lot of horrible things to the boy, but this was the least he could do to him. To keep him alive.

Chenle tried to go to the boy's body, to protect him from Yuta, but before he could go there, Jeno and Jaemin was holding hin tightly along with Ten to stop him from touching the boy's body. "Let me go!"

"We can't do that kid," said Ten. "We're all dead if that boy stay alive. I don't want to live in the prison cell."

Chenle tried to protest, to get away from their grip, but three people was holding him and they are much stronger than him. In the end, he just watched the unconscious boy be carried by Yuta and Jaehyun out of the room. After that, the three finally let him go.

Johnny walked towards him and dropped the check on the floor. "That's the money you want. Congrats! You are finally a member."

Chenle blankly stared at the check on the floor. It was more than the money he asked.

Fuck.

Did he really just killed a person?


	10. 9. Now, Remember The Pain

𝒏𝒐𝒘, 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏

  
Chenle woke up feeling dizzy as his head hurts a little bit.

The first thing he saw the moment he opened his eyes was the bronze ceiling. He slowly sat on the bed and scanned the room. He wasn't in the hospital. He saw his own reflection on the glass window and then he saw the city outside the room.

He's in Johnny's room... Or maybe one of the guest rooms in Johnny's condo.

The last thing he remembered was his head hurt so bad to the point that he faint. He remembered Johnny saying that they killed him.

_They killed Jisung._

Chenle finally remembered what they did that day. He really killed Jisung with his own bare hands and they were all laughing like a maniac.

Chenle's hands tremble in range as his eyes start to water.

_Jisung..._

Jisung doesn't deserve to be killed.

_I'll kill them._

Then Chenle heard the door clicked opened, he immediately looked at the direction and he saw Johnny walking, as though he didn't bluntly say that they killed Jisung.

Chenle was getting angrier with every second passing by. How could someone like Johnny is still free? He should rot in jail, or hell, or maybe 6 feet under the ground.

 **"You murderer!"** Chenle shouted to Johnny as he ran towards him, to punch him. He wanted to punch and beat Johnny so bad but the taller lad encountered his attacks.

 **"You should be looking at yourself. You are the one who murdered him,"** said Johnny. **"You are the one who did most of it. I. Just. Watched."**

And again, Chenle tried to punch him but the lad quickly held his fist and punched him in the stomach. Then, when Chenle lost his balance, Johnny immediately pulled him out the room harshly. Chenle tried to resist but the lad was obviously stronger than him, and the next thing he knew that he was finally outside of Johnny's apartment.

He was writhing in anger.

_How could they kill a person as though they killed an insect? How could they be so heartless? They are animals._

_Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Johnny, Taeyong... All of them. They all deserve to die._

Chenle suddenly regretted to feel sad during Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun's death. They deserve it. They should've receive a much more painful death and not suicide.

Chenle did not know how he got home but he did, the next he knew was he's sitting on the floor of his bedroom, crying his heart out.

 _Jisung... I'm sorry..._ Chenle regretted joining that fraternity. If he only knew, he could've saved Jisung. If he only knew, he wouldn't agree to Jaemin on joining the fraternity. If he only knew...

After almost an hour, Chenle was finally able to calm himself a little bit, he was still sobbing but not as hard as before. Then, he saw a box under the television inside his room.

_Their box._

Chenle pulled the box into his and opened it, then he saw a CD labeled as

_**p. js x z. cl** _

  
Chenle did not waste time and he inserted the CD to the DVD player.

_**"Yo, hyung!"** _

He saw Jisung smiling widely to the camera.

 _ **"Do I look handsome?"**_ Jisung asked as he fixed his hair in front of the camera.

_**"No, you're ugly."** _

Chenle heard his voice in the video but the wasn't caught in the screen. He saw Jisung's eyebrows furrowed and then he moved the camera and Chenle saw himself.

 ** _"Liar,"_** Jisung replied to Chenle.

 _ **"I'm not!"**_ Chenle denied. _ **"Why are you taking a video, by the way? Do you want to be a vlogger and quit dancing?"**_

 _ **"Me? Quit dancing? Ha! Never!"**_ Jisung replied. _**"And correction, I'm not vlogging, I am documenting."**_

_**"Documentation for what?"** _

_**"For future purposes? We could play this at our wedding, during the reception. Then you'll realize, I'm handsome in my teens but I'm more handsome in my 20s and that you are soooo lucky to be married to the one and only Park Jisung!"** _

Chenle laughed bitterly as he cried his eyes out while watching the video. _I am lucky, Jisung. I am so lucky to meet someone like you. I don't think I can meet someone like you again in this life._

_**"Ha! As if I'll marry you!"** _

Jisung looked shocked. _ **"Are you telling me you don't have any plans to marry me?"**_

 **"No. I'd love to marry you, Jisung,"** said Chenle while sobbing. But who was he kidding, Jisung won't hear his answer anymore. Jisung's not hear anymore to hear his answer.

The Chenle in the video ignored Jisung.

**_"Chenle."_ **

**_"Chenleeee."_ **

**_"What?"_ **

**_"Promise me you'll never leave me, hmm? Let's stay together forever."_ **

**_"No."_ **

**_"Why are you like that?"_** Asked Jisung with a cute, sad expression. **_"Don't you love me anymore?"_**

Chenle honestly wanted to hit the Chenle on the video. If he's only aware that Jisung will die early then he'll be more vocal on saying how much he love him.

 **"I miss you, Jisung..."** Chenle sobbed as he continued to watch the video. **"I really miss you."**

_**"Chenle, promise me you'll marry me."** _

_**"Fine,"**_ said Chenle in the video then Jisung's expression brighten. **_"I promise not to marry you."_**

And Jisung frowned again, and he saw himself grinning.

 ** _"Let's get married when we're old enough. Is that okay, Park Jisung?"_** He heard himself and Jisung's expression brightens again, then Jisung hugged him tightly.

 **"I miss your hugs. I miss your kisses. I miss you annoying me. I miss you teasing me..."** Chenle continued crying. **"I miss you, Jisung."**

Then Chenle felt something wrapped around him, he looked up and he saw Jisung.

_What is this? Is this a dream? Hallucination? If this is a dream then I don't want to wake up anymore. Don't wake me up anymore._

**"Jisung, I miss you,"** Chenle cried harder as he hugged the Jisung in front of him.

 **"Hush now, Chenle,"** said Jisung as he caress his back gently.

**"I'm sorry... I am really sorry... If I only knew—"**

**"Shhh, hush now,"** said Jisung as though he was reassuring him that he wasn't mad at him that he killed him.

Chenle obeyed Jisung. He didn't speak anymore, instead he closed his eyes. He let Jisung caress his back, and the darkness slowly put him into deep sleep.

MRS. ZHONG TRIED so hard not to cry hard when he saw his son in that state. Chenle mistook him as Jisung. He fell into sleep thinking that he was hugging Jisung when in fact, it was his mother all along.

It hurts to watch her own son hug her tightly and cry Jisung's name to sleep.

A week after Jisung's sudden death, Chenle got into a car accident that put him into comatose state. When her son woke up, she thought that he'll be depressed again because of Jisung, but he didn't. The doctor told him that Chenle has forgotten Jisung because of the pain it caused to him, it's a natural action for the brain to do because the memories was too painful to him. His own brain erased Jisung. And now, he remembers him again and Chenle was in great pain again.

After Mrs. Zhong closed the door, he wasn't aware that someone was really hugging his son with a dark expression in its face.


	11. 10: Hallucination or reality?

**"Here, this will help to light up your mood,"** said Mrs. Zhong after she placed a cup of hot chocolate with three marshmallows floating in it in front of his son.

Chenle timidly smiled at her, **"Thanks, Mama."**

They were having a breakfast together which was unusual because of how early she leave the house for work, but she stayed and didn't go to her office early for her son. She knew that Chenle finally remembered Jisung, but she didn't know until what extent. But one thing is for sure, Chenle needs her. Chenle might not say it but she knew that her son needs someone else beside him for emotional support because everything that Chenle suppressed before finally came back.

His anger for the people who had killed Jisung. His agony for the lost of his lover. His pain for the los of his best friend.

Mrs. Zhong doesn't know if the police and Jisung's parents finally find out Jisung's killer. She stop hearing the Park family from the news. She doesn't know if they already caught the killer or they finally stop searching for it.

Jisung had such a cruel end. An 18-year-old got murdered like _that_. He doesn't deserve that.

Chenle was barely touching his food. He doesn't have an appetite to eat. How could he eat knowing that he is one of the people that killed Jisung? But he has to finish his food, he doesn't want his mother to worry. He doesn't have a choice to finish the meal and drink that she prepared for him.

That morning, Chenle was determined to turn himself in to the police and confessed to his crimes. But before he do that, he has to clear his confusion and say a proper goodbye to his mother.

His good mother who didn't do anything aside from loving him. His mother who did everything for his sake. His mother doesn't deserve to have a son a like him, a murderer.

Chenle stared at his mother as he wonder how long will he stay in jail for murder? Will he still be able to see his mother after he finish his jail sentence?

_I am sorry, Mama. I'm such a disappointment._

**"Why are you looking at me, hm?"** Mrs. Zhong asked in a sweet tone.

Chenle shook his head. **"Nothing, Mama. I just realised why you have Papa wrapped under your fingers. You're really beautiful."**

Mrs. Zhong's smile grew wider. **"Stop with that. Finish your meal or you'll be late to your class."**

 **"About that... Can I skip classes for today?"** Chenle asked. **"I just want to go somewhere."**

Without a doubt, Mrs. Zhong nodded. She would not hesitate to agree knowing what her son has gone through.

**"Thank you, Mama."**

After Mrs. Zhong left the house for work, Chenle was in his room.

_If Jisung is really dead like what Johnny had said, who was the person I'm seeing for that past few months?_

_That's definitely Jisung._ Chenle was certain of it. How could he be dead if he can touch him and talked to him? He hugged that Jisung. He shook hands with that Jisung. He spent several lunch with that Jisung. They laugh together. Who's that person if Jisung's dead?

The first time that Chenle did after his mother left was to pick up his phone. He was hesitant to call the number named as a chick emoticon. He's nervous to hear something he doesn't want to hear. There are a lot of what ifs going on in Chenle's mind as he stare at his phone lying in his bed. _What if that's not really Jisung? What if that's Jisung and he's alive? What if..._

Chenle heave a breath as he pressed call.

**"The number you have dialed does not exist."**

Chenle's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. No way.

He just texted and called this number yesterday! How could this number does not exist?! Chenle checked his recent calls and most of them came from that number. Chenle tried to call that number it says the same, the number does not exist.

I have to go to Jisung's house. Chenle thought after he grabbed his wallet from the nightstand. He'll go to the house where Jisung took him before. He still remember the address.

When he got there, he saw that house. That big house. Chenle's hope rose up with the fact that the house was real, which means that there's a huge possibility that he'll see that Jisung.

But before he could press the doorbell, he heard someone call him.

**"Boy, who are you looking for?"**

Chenle turned to the direction where the voice came from and he saw a lady in her mid-50s.

 **"The couple that used to live there went abroad and put that house on sale after their son died,"** said the lady and Chenle's shoulder went down. **"No one has lived there since then."**

Was he hallucinating all this time?

He was certain that the number was working, yet when he called that number the operator says it doesn't exist.

He was certain that there are people lives in this house, they even have maids, yet the lady says that no one has live in it for three months.

Was his mind playing with him?

Who was his talking to this entire time?

Who was with his this entire time?

_Who's that Jisung?_

Chenle was senselessly walking through the side walk, not caring where his foot leading him to. He was so confused about everything. As though he wasn't aware of what was happening in his life during the past few months.

Chenle stopped when he saw a familiar pavemeny. He then looked straight and saw his university. He didn't thought that he had walked that far that he finally reached his school.

The university where he met Jisung for the second tine. Was that moment even real? Did he really meet Jisung for the second time at the theatre room?

Chenle doesn't know why but he wants to enter the vicinity. But since he's not wearing an ID and his uniform, he has no choice but to climb to the wall.

After that, his foot lead him to the theatre room at the 3rd floor of the main building, to the end of the hallway. When he tried to open the door, he couldn't twist know. It was locked.

He couldn't help but to walk upstairs and go to the rooftop and breath some air. Maybe his mind will be clearer after that.

But the moment he opens the door, he saw a familiar figure. It's just his back but Chenle was certain that it was him.

The lad turned around and smiled at him. The smile that he misses the most. **"Hi, Chenle Hyung."**

_Jisung..._


	12. 11: What The Hell?

**"Jisung..."**

Chenle gasped for air when he saw the man he was looking for since this morning. He was just looking at him, stunned at his place because of shock.

Chenle was scared. He's really scared after everything he had found out about Jisung. His death, the house, and the phone number. Everything seemed like a dream- a hallucination, but seeing the younger in front of him made him scared more.

The lad in front of him. He looks like him from every angle.

 **"Why do you look like you've seen a** ** _ghost_** **, Hyung?"** Jisung asked while smiling.

 **"It's just me,"** he added.

 _It's you, that's why I'm scared._ Chenle wanted to say these words but he knew that he shouldn't. He doesn't know who's the person in front of him right now, even though he looks exactly like Jisung and he has a voice the same as him, he somehow feels foreign from the Jisung he knew.

Jisung walked towards him. Chenle wanted to walk backward but he feels like he was stuck in his place. He just looked at Jisung with fear in his eyes.

 **"You skipped classes again, Hyung. I told you not to skip class,"** said Jisung as he walked towards Chenle, looking at him in the eye with a smile. A smile that never fails to make Chenle's heart go crazy and make him feel scared at the same time, it is warm and cold at the same time. **"You keep on wasting your mother's money, Hyung, and that's bad."**

When Jisung stopped in front of him with a few inches gap between them, Chenle stared at him. His hand, then, slowly went up to reach the younger's face to touch him.

Chenle gasped again in surprise when he felt Jisung's hot skin. It was warm, like he was alive. **"You're real..."**

 **"Of course, I am real.** ** _I'm not dead,_** **am I?"** Jisung replied that it made Chenle's sweat cold from nervousness. Chenle's hand also starts shaking from the younger's reply.

**"Jisung... I-"**

**"Boy, rooftop is off limits!"** Chenle was interrupted when someone shouted at his direction. He turned his back and he saw one of the school's guards.

 **"Damn. Kids really don't know how to read. Can't you read the signage? It says off limits!"** The guard added. **"Now, go down before I report you to the dean's office. You are not even wearing your uniform!"**

 **"Wait, Jisung-"** Chenle stopped talking when he saw no one around him except for the school guard.

 **"What are you waiting for? Go down now, boy,"** said the school guard as he pushed Chenle downstairs.

Chenle kept on looking but he cannot see Jisung anymore.

He just vanished like air... Like a ghost.

But Chenle quickly erased the thought of Jisung being a ghost. Maybe he just ran fast enough for the guard not to see him there. For Chenle, it's impossible for Jisung to be a ghost because he feels like a human, he's warm as a human.

_What are you... really?_

Chenle disappointedly went downstairs. He planned to climb up on the wall again to go out of the university, but he saw a senior named Moon Taeil. He suddenly remembered when Taeil asked who he was with a few weeks ago. Chenle clearly remembered that Taeil went pale and his hands trembled, he also remembered how the older started to stutter, too, when he answered Jisung.

Curiosity piqued to Chenle. He feels like Taeil knows who Jisung was, just by remembering the older's reaction a few weeks ago. Chenle could tell that those reactions weren't good and it scares him more. He doesn't know whether he should call and ask the senior or just let the older walk away.

But curiosity in Chenle triumphed.

**"Taeil Hyung!"**

The older looked at him and Taeil's eyes widened. **"O-oh, Chenle."**

 **"Do you need something?"** The older asked with an uneasy voice.

 **"Hyung, I'll be straight to you,"** said Chenle as he walked towards Jisung. **"Do you know Park Jisung?"**

And again, Taeil's face went pale just by hearing the younger's name.

 **"You seemed scared during our last conversation. I thought that you might know him,"** Chenle added. **"So, do you know him?"**

Taeil gulped and heaved a heavy breath to calm himself before he answered Chenle. **"What do you know?"**

Chenle looked at him nervously as the younger took a heavy breath, too. He doesn't know whether the older would believe in everything he'll say or not. **"Jisung's dead, yet I see him."**

He couldn't tell the older that he was the one who killed Jisung. He just can't.

**"Aside from that? What else do you know?"**

Chenle shook his head.

Taeil slowly nodded his head as he placed his hand under his chin as though he was thinking. **"I will tell you everything that I know after class. I only have one subject today and it's 3 hours. The class will end after an hour and a half, I just went out to get some papers. Let's meet outside the school."**

CHENLE WAS patiently waiting for the older at the café across the university. He was looking at the university's gate, waiting to see the older go out of the campus. After a few minutes of waiting, Chenle was delighted to see the older go out of the gate and walk across the highway to enter the café.

Chenle stood up from his seat when the older approached him.

 **"Come with me,"** said Taeil, and then the two went out of the café.

Chenle doesn't have any clue where Taeil was going to take him. He just followed the older. The taxi stopped at a two-story house. It looked modern just like a normal house.

 **"This is my family's house. I leave here alone since both of my parents are in the province because of their job. They came home once in a while but they didn't stay for long,"** said Taeil as he opened the gate.

 **"I will show you something. Follow me,"** said Taeil as he walked straight to a room on the first floor.

 **"Do you know that Jisung is my cousin?"** Said Taeil and Chenle looked at him with a surprised face. He has known Jisung for years now yet he didn't know that Taeil is his cousin.

 **"We're not that close. He mostly stays in their house rather than to attend family parties and reunions, that's why we seldom see each other,"** Taeil added.

 **"Until the last three months,"** said Taeil as he opened the door. **"Jisung stayed here for three months. In this room."**

 _Two months ago?_ Chenle asked. _Jisung was killed almost four months ago, how could he stay here?_

 **"How?"** Chenle asked. **"He's alive?"**

 **"He's alive but he doesn't look like one,"** said Taeil. **"He couldn't walk or move a single muscle in his body. He has wounds all over his body. He couldn't talk. He's alive and dead at the same time."**

**"How did he get here?"**

**"It was midnight when I woke up from a knock. I saw Kun and Doyoung holding a man and in my horror, it's my cousin. We tended his wound and took care of him here. If Kun hadn't had a medical background, he could be dead by now,"** said Taeil. **"I asked the two where they saw Jisung, Doyoung said that they were ordered to bury him by a fraternity. They couldn't bury him, he was still breathing, and they didn't want their conscience to eat them up for the rest of their lives, that's why they bought him here."**

"Then who's the person lying in Jisung place?" Chenle asked nervously.

Taeil shook his shoulders. **"I don't know. I didn't bother to ask."**

**"I was supposed to call Jisung's parents but Jisung asked me not to. I don't know why but he let his parents mourn over a different person. After a few weeks, Jisung can finally move and talk with ease, but he didn't dare to leave this room. He locked himself here."**

Chenle roamed his eyes around the room. There's a single bed and tons of candles, there are books that he couldn't read and understand the language. There are a lot of burnt papers on the floor. The whole room feels creepy.

**"Until one night, I heard Jisung mumbling something. I tried to take a peek and the whole room was dark. The only thing that had light in that room were the candles that were lit. Jisung looked like he was praying, but it sent creeps to my spine. He doesn't look like he was praying to the God that we know, but rather to the devil. It was late when I realized that he sold his soul. I realized too late because I thought those prayers weren't real, until the next morning I couldn't see Jisung in this house anymore. He vanished just like that. And after that, I saw him with you after a month. I was so scared because of that, even now."**

Chenle's hands trembled in fear as his breath became unstable.

 _Is everything Taeil Hyung said was real?_ He asked himself. It's too scary to be true. It's impossible for Jisung to know these things. His sweet and caring Jisung cannot do these things. It's impossible.

_This is impossible._

**"My suspicion became strong after the continued death in our school. From Jeno, to Renjun, and to Jaemin- they are all part of the fraternity that killed Jisung according to Kun,"** Taeil added. **"Maybe Jisung sold his soul for revenge. But one thing doesn't add up, Mark and Donghyuck weren't part of the fraternity."**

**"I feel like Jisung will kill everyone that is part of that fraternity."**

_What the hell..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler? Taeyong will play a huge role in this book.
> 
> Can you guess what it is?


	13. 12: Truths and Lies

_No way._

  
_No fucking way._

Chenle refused to believe everything he heard from Taeil.

 _It's impossible._ Chenle repeated in his head.

Even though how much he thought about it, it's impossible.

It's impossible that Jisung is alive. Who was this person on the news? Who is this 18-year-old student who was found dead the week they killed Jisung? He couldn't think of any person but Jisung.

 **"Jisung is dead,"** Chenle said to himself as he stared at his computer screen that flashes the article of the boy that was found dead near the river banks.

**[Breaking News: Body of a Brutally Killed Student Was Found Near The River Bank]**

_A body of an 18-year-old male student from Neo University was found dead buried near the river banks. The victim's identity was unrecognisable due to injuries as he was brutally killed. His face and head is severely broken, his limbs are all broken, he has bruises and wounds all over his body. He was identified as Neo University's student because of the I.D. lace and uniform._

_Currently, the police have no leads to the suspect or suspects of the murder. Also, as of now, the police couldn't identify the victim's identity because he's indistinguishable from how brutal he was killed. The authorities are currently investigating the murder, and the Neo University willingly offered a help to identify the student and to find the possible suspect for their student's death._

**"Taeil Hyung is lying,"** Chenle added as he shook his head.

What Taeil said doesn't make any sense. He finally remembered that Johnny told him that Kun and Doyoung buried Jisung's body near the banks. If Jisung is alive, who was lying there? Is it possible that Kun and Doyoung killed a student and disguised it as Jisung's body? Kun and Doyoung don't strike Chenle as someone that could kill or hurt a person. It's impossible for Kun and Doyoung to kill a person just to save one. They are the most decent human Chenle knew.

Maybe... They really bury his body there.

A lot of things don't make sense to Chenle. A lot of things weren't connecting.

Everything that Chenle knew and everything that Taeil told him doesn't make sense together. They keep on contrasting each other.

First, Taeil said that Jisung is alive, yet a body of a student from their university was found in the week of Jisung's death.

Second, Johnny told him that Jisung's body was _dumped_ near the river banks and that was where the body of the unidentified student was found.

Lastly, the most impossible one- Jisung selling his soul and killing the fraternity members one by one... He couldn't even think of Jisung hurting or killing a fly, how could he even sell his soul to the devil and kill a person? That is absurd. Jisung doesn't even know this kind of stuff. And who the heck believes in those things? Those are myths. There's no documented proof of an individual selling his soul. All of these are lies.

Chenle once again shook his head and chuckled because of his thoughts.

He must be crazy for convincing himself that everything Taeil had told him was a lie. He doesn't believe in everything the older had said, so why does he keep on insisting that all of it was a lie? Why does he keep on searching for things that will oppose everything that Taeil had told him?

 **"He may be Jisung's cousin but it doesn't mean that I am going to believe him,"** said Chenle to himself.

Chenle took a deep breath before he closed the tab of the news article in his computer before he turned the device off. While waiting for the computer to shut down to pull the plug, Chenle startled and immediately put his hand to his chest when his phone suddenly rang.

He looked at the screen and his eyes squinted when he saw the person who texted him.

Chenle grabbed his phone and opened it to see the message.

_From: 🐥_

_**How's your day, Hyung?** _

_From: 🐥_

_**Im sad that we didnt have a time to talk much personally today : <** _

_From: 🐥_

_**But im glad that i saw u!** _

_Who is this person? Why does he look like Jisung?_ Chenle asked himself as he stared at his phone's screen. _Why is he claiming himself to be Jisung?_

_To: 🐥_

_**Who are you really?** _

_To: 🐥_

_**You are not Jisung** _

_To: 🐥_

_**Stop acting like him. Jisung is already dead.** _

_To: 🐥_

_**Why do you look like him? Why do you keep on acting like him?** _

Chenle had decided to confront the person claiming as Jisung. Whatever this person wants to do, it irks Chenle that someone was using Jisung's identity. Chenle must stop this person from using Jisung's identity.

Chenle's attention was once again on his phone when the person claiming as Jisung replied.

_From: 🐥_

_**I am Jisung. You know that.** _

_From: 🐥_

_**Cmon, u keep on insisting that im dead. Whats wrong with u today?** _

Chenle clenched his fist because of the person's reply. He's pissed because this person doesn't want to cut the act.

_To: 🐥_

_**He's dead! Stop pretending as him! Stop claiming to be him! STOP USING HIS NAME YOU FUCKER!** _

Chenle was surprised when the person did not reply but called him instead. Chenle rolled his eyes as he heaved a deep breath before he answered the call.

 **"We're both aware that I am alive,"** said _Jisung_.

 **"Stop it. It's not funny anymore,"** said Chenle.

**"Why do you keep on saying that I am dead?"**

**"Because Jisung is dead! I did not say this when we first met three months ago because I forgot everything about him after I got into an accident. Now that I finally remember him, you can no longer fool me now."**

**"But Chenle..."** He could hear the guy chuckling. **"I am really alive. But I am happy that you can finally remember all of our memories together... From the start."**

**"Shut up. Let him rest in peace! Stop stealing his identity!"**

**"Do you remember what we did after the dance festival?"** The guy asked. **"We kissed after the dance festival. We kissed in the middle of the crowd. We officially became together on that day."**

 **"That is something only the two of us know, right?"** The guy added.

CHENLE WAS walking quietly as he stared at nowhere.

He left home and had decided to attend class to keep himself and his mind occupied. After what Jisung had said last night, Chenle nervously ended the call. He was scared. He couldn't sleep at all last night. He couldn't think straight after that call. How could that person know something that only he and Jisung knew? Is it really possible that Jisung is alive? Is it really possible that he's real?

If that's so, Chenle wanted to know if he's mad... Chenle chuckled at his thought. Who was he kidding? Of course, Jisung will be mad. He killed him with his own hands. But can he forgive him? Maybe they could start anew? Once again, Chenle chuckled. If he were Jisung he wouldn't dare to come close to the very person that killed him, even though he used to love and still loves him.

_Love and trust are the scariest feelings... really._

But as Chenle walked past the busy ground of the Neo University, he couldn't help but to hear what the students were talking about. They are too loud and the topic of almost every student was the same.

About the death of their senior student, and that is something that Chenle cannot ignore.

Everytime he heard the word _death_ , his ears couldn't help but tingle and his mind and attention were immediately into it. Probably because of the continuous deaths of his friends and colleagues.

_**"That's why I don't like drinking... It kills you, by accident or by natural causes."** _

_**"Poor, Yuta... If he only didn't insist on driving while he's drunk."** _

_Yuta... Hyung?_

_**"Are you sure that he was drunk? We only met once, but he looks like a decent driver to me."** _

_**"That's what I heard, but you cannot predict people. Maybe he was really drunk when he drove, also it was around 3AM when his car crashed, right? I also heard that the lights in that area are all broken. It's hard to drive in a dark place while sober, what more if you're drunk?'"** _

_**"But Sicheng survived. He's in Yuta's car when the accident happened... Good thing that he didn't die."** _

_**"Yeah, but I heard to some of Yuta's friends when I walked past them that Sicheng was saying something when he was rushed to the hospital... I am not certain if I heard them right, but Sicheng was repeatedly mentioning someone's name..."** _

_**"What name?"** _

_**"I did not hear it properly, but I guess, the name ends with -sung."** _

_Jisung...?_

And for once, Chenle considered believing in Taeil's words.

Maybe... Jisung is alive and is really going to kill each one of them.


	14. 13: The Game Begins

Chenle was pinned at his place. Tears were slowly making its way down to his cheeks as he tried to hold his own emotions back.

He feels sorry.

He doesn't want to hear the lad's screams. He doesn't want to hear the bed creaking hard. He doesn't want to see Sicheng in this state. But his body wasn't listening to his mind. 

He was standing outside the room along with other fraternity members, with his eyes pinned on Sicheng.

 **"I am not crazy! Get me out of this place!"** Sicheng screamed as he tried to resist from the grasp of the nurses in the room.

He just gained consciousness a few minutes ago after being asleep for almost a day. The moment he opened his eyes, he didn't seem to be in the right state of mind. He’s been screaming for his life since he woke up.

 **"Why can't you believe me?!"** Sicheng screamed. **"He's alive! That fucker is alive! Get me out of here! He’s coming for us! I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna die!"**

Chenle looked at the members beside him. He couldn't seem to read their emotions, especially their frat leader Taeyong. Unlike everyone else who had an unreadable facial expression, Johnny seems to be irritated and pleased at the same time. He doesn't know how it's possible to have two contradicting expressions at the same time but that's how Chenle would describe what he had seen.

 **"What?"** Johnny asked rudely to Chenle when he felt the younger looking at him.

Chenle looked away, and he looked once again to Sicheng who was still trying to fight back and resisted from the nurses who were trying to calm him.

 **"Believe me! He's alive and he's going to kill us all! He killed Yuta!** " Sicheng screamed at them. Looking at each of them. **"It's not an accident! He'll kill us! He'll kill us!"**

Then, Sicheng eyes were suddenly pinned to Chenle that made the younger's heart pound in nervousness. He was scared of how Sicheng looked at him.

 **“Chenle, you saw him, right? You know he’s alive, right?”** Sicheng asked, but Chenle just stood there with wide eyes and said nothing. **“Why are you not saying anything?! He’s gonna kill us all!”**

Chenle’s throat felt uncomfortably dry. He couldn’t find any courage to speak. He couldn’t find any word to compose into a word nor sentence. He was uncomfortably silent.

Was Chenle looking at their fate?

Was this going to be their fate? If not dead, they’ll go insane?

He knows that Sicheng wasn’t lying when he said that Jisung was alive. He knew it very well more than anyone else in this room. They held hands. They talked a lot. They spend a lot of time together, without him knowing that he used to kill the lad. But he stayed silent. He didn’t speak up and say that he believes Sicheng that Jisung was alive.

He stayed silent because he’s too scared.

He’s scared that what if they might also see him as someone crazy? What if they thought that he had also lost his mind?

He’s too scared about what was happening.

He’s too scared about what was going to happen… to them, and to him.

You can call him coward, but can you blame him? He’s just a human. A scared human.

CHENLE STOPPED from walking when he felt an eerie atmosphere in the middle of the dark street on his way home. When he looked straight, he saw a familiar figure standing a few meters away from him.

He was standing there with a straight face, looking directly at his eyes.

 **“You did that, didn’t you?”** Chenle asked. He’s now convinced that Jisung was alive and he was the one behind all the horrors that were happening in his life.

**“Did what exactly?”**

**“You killed Yuta and you drove Sicheng to insanity,”** Chenle answered. **“Before that, you also killed Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Mark, and Donghyuck. Am I right?”**

Then he laughed.

Chenle was taken by surprise and fear by the lad’s reaction. He took a step backward. He was scared to see the lad laugh devilishly, as though he was enjoying everything that happened.

“You are really accusing me of everything, aren’t you?” Jisung asked sheepishly. “Won’t you mind checking out Donghyuck from my kill list because I didn’t kill him? He’s stupid enought to kill himself voluntarily.”

_What?_

**“But why Mark? He didn’t do anything to you.”**

**“You are right. He didn’t do anything to me, but he knows too much and he doesn’t have any plans to silence himself. So, I cut his tongue, and silenced him myself.”**

Every word was scary enough for Chenle to feel shivers down to his spine. His hands were trembling. His heart was pounding hard in fear.

_Since when he became this evil?_

**“Ah! He really took his time in screaming after I cut his tongue… You know what? I can still hear him screaming sometimes. It’s like music to my ears. It’s wonderful.”**

He’s crazy. **“Why are you doing this to us? If you are going to kill us then just kill us! Why are you torturing everyone?”**

Jisung chuckled. **“I’m sure that you’ve heard of the saying “An eye of an eye”. You tortured me, and I’ll torture you. You took everything from me… My life and my dreams. And I will take yours too. Be patient, Chenle. Your time will come.”**

**“But I am the one who killed you.”**

_Idiot._

He’s such an idiot.

Where the heck did he find the guts to claim the credits of Jisung’s death? Because technically speaking, he’s the sole one who did all the work. The other just watched him torture the lad. They laughed and rejoiced at their suffering- him suffering to kill an innocent person and Jisung suffering from physical pain brought by him.

He let out a high pitched laugh. He sounds like a maniac. **“You are no hero, Chenle. Don’t claim all the credits. You could claim half of it since you are the one who did the work, but who did the thinking? Who chose to kill me? It’s them. So they should hold accountability too.”**

**“The game just begins. So, sit back and enjoy.”**

And Jisung disappeared like a shadow under the night sky.

Chenle fell down into his knees. He was still trembling in fear.

He knows that what they did was very wrong. In the eyes of any person and in the eyes of God. But Jisung was also wrong for putting the matter into his own hands. He was wrong for killing people. They were wrong for killing an innocent individual. That’s why Chenle was willing to turn himself into the police and confess to the murder that they did a few months ago. But seeing Jisung planning to kill each of them, he feels like he has the responsibility to stop the lad. He doesn’t know how he’ll do it, but he has to do it in any way possible.

Jisung was right. He wasn’t a hero type. He was no savior. He wasn’t the type who played the hero. But he was willing to do everything to stop him from killing more people.

He wants his Jisung back. He was too scared with the Jisung he was seeing. He wants to see his old sweet Jisung bad. He knows that it was his fault why the younger became this evil. But is it wrong for someone like him to hope for what seems impossible?

Is it wrong for him to hope that the old Jisung will come back?

Is it wrong for him to hope that he could save Jisung’s soul?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native english speaker. I learnt english as a second language, so, if there's any grammatical error please notify me so I can correct it.
> 
> And please, leave a comment: critic or praise. Just to keep my motivation on writing and to keep the story better.
> 
> I also have a wattpad account (@shhhaine) where I also post my other nct fanfics. You can check them out!


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